Larissa & The Terrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Today is probably the worst day I've had in a long, long time.
I've lost my patience with my boys more times than I care to think about, and it's not even 11 yet. Talk about feeling humbled, getting upset at a child. Makes me feel even less worthy of being their mom. I have apologized for my bad attitude to both my boys and my husband a few too many times today. Already.
I miss my house. My home. I miss my 4 bedroom, 2300 square feet of space that I made into our home. I miss the pool in our backyard that my husband and I designed. I miss the entertainment center that my husband built in our living room for me. Exactly how I wanted it to be, with accent lights, shelves, all of it.
I miss the paint colours that I chose and had done the exact way I wanted it to be.
I miss having pictures of my family out on the walls and my few nice things that I like to have out and looking at that are currently boxed up and stored away.
I miss being by my friends. I miss one of my best friends, Keri, that just had a baby girl and I won't get to see for a long time.
I'm waiting for an extremely important phone call at some point today (I've been waiting for a week now, but was told I'd get it today) and I could probably pass out from how stressed out I am about this, but yet still have to take care of 2 little boys so I guess that's not an option. And my stress is rearing it's head in quite another, and quite ugly, way.
And I need to figure out how to be a pleasant person to be around even though this is hard.
And how to not do things that I need to apologize for 5 minutes later because my actions were ridiculous.
I just want to sit in my old living room for a few minutes, because I just love my old living room, so very much. And stare at our pool with the pretty little waterfall just outside our living room window. And have life be normal.
Not figuring out how to go from a 4 bedroom, 2300 square foot home to a 2 bedroom, 1000 (900 or 1100, can't quite remember) little townhouse. With no yard of our own. And when will that ever change.
I know I am beyond blessed. And I definitely don't want as big of a house as we had before (in fact I used to complain that our house was too big and had too much space. And I still agree, 2300 square feet is too much space. But a happy medium between this and that would be nice.) But you know, sometimes it's just a little sad to start over, 8 years of what we worked toward all lost and down the toilet.
And my attitude is miserable today, and I'm hoping the boys take a nice nap here soon, and everything can just start over and refresh for a happy afternoon.

Onto The Next Phase.....

So, I just finished my last shift at work. I am no longer a cashier a couple evenings a week. I'm staying home and so happy to not miss out on family suppers and bed times those 2 or so evenings a week.
Onto bigger and better things......
I was thinking about doing something 1 day a week with my degree, and I could make more than I would in my 2 or 3 evenings a week cashiering. But, I've decided to stay home and just be a mom to my 2 little guys with no rushing off as soon as their Daddy gets home from work anymore.
I'm very, very excited to just have my 1 job as Mom to 2 again, instead of trying to balance that with work outside the home, too!!
Yay!!!

Please, Take 4:26 And Check This Out

Okay, now that I have 4:26 of your time, I won't waste it.
Some good friends of ours from back when we lived in Sacramento are moving to Ethiopia next month. They are going to be running an orphanage with children who are considered to be 'cursed' and would otherwise be killed by their own families/ tribe members.
This is real life, hard core stuff.
And I want you to, please, go check out their site. Watch this short video that explains it much better than I ever could, and see if you can help them out at all.... Let's get the word out. Even if you don't have money to help, post it or do something to get the word out to someone who can!
They are moving there with complete and total faith in God that they will be provided for.
I was bawling my eyes out by the time I was done reading the full story and watching the video.

You can't help but know stuff like this is happening in the world, but it just makes it real when people you know have seen this firsthand, and are moving across the world to help out.

drawnfromwater.org

Sweet Sweet Sanity Makes A Comeback

Well, I saw my blog and realized... my goodness! all that snow a short 13 days ago!
And here it is, almost all gone! Or getting there, anyway.
This morning, E was at his twice weekly preschool, and I took Ez for a walk, a one and a half hour walk.
Oh my goodness! It was, how do you say, glorious?!
I guess living in warm (to ridiculously HOT) climates has made me take for granted going for walks any ole' time I please.
That was our first walk since last October, I believe. With the exception of walking a couple houses down to go to a friends house all bundled up and the boys in a snow sled. Not quite as 'glorious.' Rather, doing what you need to do to get out of the house when it was -20 and you thought it felt nice because it finally was not -40. And if you stayed in your 4 walls for another day you might go legitimately insane. Crazy insane.
So today marked the first walk of the season. And my cheeks are sore from how much smiling I've been doing to finally get fresh air and sunshine outside!!

Let's Play A Little Game Called: Can You Find The Road??

Me Neither!!
Welcome to April!!
I'M SO OVER IT!!!!!